Sliding down the mountain

2010-12-05T15:08:00.001-08:00

Almost the end of 2010. It's been a pretty good year for us, all in all. Jessica seems happy -- she and Stephen consider themselves engaged, although there is no fixed date for a wedding.

I just found out, however, that I have obstructive sleep apnea, a problem with my airway collapsing during sleep which means I don't sleep well, thus am tired a lot of the time, particularly in the afternoons. The solution is to wear a mask forcing air into the airway to keep it from collapsing. I understand it's very difficult to get used to this, not to mention it does take away from a comfy bedtime routine. After 39 years of marriage (Dec. 17!) neither of us likes the idea of this at all, but the other therapies out there have their own risks (surgery --painful, doesn't always work; dental appliance -- doesn't always work, not recommended for people with TMJ, which I have as well (jaw problem).

Waiting to see the dentist and ENT doc first before trying the sleep mask therapy.

All this makes me feel old. The company that makes the sleep therapy equipment allowed me to have an online consultation with the sleep doctor who read the test did at home, and that was very helpful. But the waiting room for this company was filled with the paraphenalia of infirmity and old age -- walkers, chairs that help the sitter arise, wheelchairs, etc. Not a pleasant place to wait.

Still, I must put this in perspective. A friend of mine, same age as me, found out a couple of months ago that he has pancreatic cancer. He's fighting bravely, with good humor, but it's a tough battle to win, and not many do it. I hope he can.

Catching up with things

2010-07-11T06:16:00.001-07:00

I haven't written in a very long time, I see! What's new in our lives?

My dear, sweet Isis, grey and white tabby who shared our home for 18 years, died in July of 2008 of kidney disease. We were lucky that she just faded away; in fact, she made her Bridge trip cuddled next to me in bed. I still miss her very much, although a black whirlwind of a cat named Athena has come to be the feline presence in our lives. Isis has a beautiful spot in our garden.

Well, my nearest and dearest found out a couple of years ago that his aortic valve only has two leaflets instead of the normal three, so it's theoretically possible he might need valve replacement surgery someday. Luckily for him, he keeps himself in tip-top physical shape, so his heart is compensating nicely for the problem at this point. Hope that continues!

Me? A few lumps and bumps here and there; had two of them removed earlier this year. Both benign, thank goodness. Oddly enough, the one for which I had actual surgery healed quicker and better than the office biopsy site, but both are fine now. A few aches and pains, but nothing major, thank goodness.

Daughter doing well in Chicago. Living with her boyfriend; making music; doing good things in her life.

In my ongoing fascination/obsession with death, am listening to an audiobook of "Stiff," which is about human cadavers. Am I morbid? Or just trying to find a way to deal with, what for me, is the unknowable and unthinkable? Perhaps both things are true.

Mountains actual and theoretical

2008-10-28T16:41:00.000-07:00

I realized today when I was thinking about this blog's title that there is more than one meaning to the word mountain in my life.

The mountain of life is one thing, and the obvious one in context to the intent of the blog.

Mountains in their geographical reality are the other significant context to this blog. I am lucky enough to have been living in the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains of Western North Carolina for the past four years, and I never get tired of looking out my kitchen or living room window at the mountain across the field from my house. I watch the mountain's face change with the seasons. Right now it's at its most beautiful, since it's autumn, and this year the leaves are particularly colorful. Those leaves won't be on the trees much longer, but I'm enjoying them while they are.

Knowing how finite my life (any life) is, I am really concentrating on recognizing those moments of pleasure that exist, and being grateful for them.

Posting more

2008-10-28T09:24:00.001-07:00

Spurred by my daughter's efforts to do the same, I will try to update this blog (and my other one -- maybe I don't really need two of them? Must think about that) more frequently.

I created this particular blog to focus on the age-related issues in my life -- my own life, as well as those who mean a lot to me.

I think my next post will have to do with the plus side (I focus too much on the minuses) of aging.

Yes, there *can* be positives about getting older!

Fear of aging and death

2008-06-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those people who has worried about death my entire life. Not very productive, you say. We're all going to die sometime, right?

I do not have a strong religious belief, so I don't have a comfort that the essence of who I am will continue to exist after my corporeal self disintegrates. I like the idea of reincarnation a lot.

I've lost my parents in the past 10 years, and most of my adult relatives (I've got one uncle and aunt, in their late 80s and early 90s, still hanging on, but that's it.

I've lost beloved pets, and have another one who will probably not be with us for much longer (chronic renal failure). I keep thinking about my own death, and hating the idea of it. I can't imagine not being alive and aware.

Sliding down the mountain

2008-06-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

The mountain is a metaphor for life, and this blog is my way of dealing with aging, and all that it entails, both positive and negative.

Because I will be talking frankly about things that are very personal to me, I am not going to identify myself. Just consider me everyman -- or everywoman -- if you like.

What should you know about me? I don't think you need to know much, other than I turned 60 in February of this year. I'm happily married, have one adult daughter who doesn't live nearby, and we share our lives with two collies and one cat.

That's probably enough to get started, don't you think?